Divorce and the marital home
The house, when the marriage ends.
This is usually the largest asset and the hardest conversation. Our job is to be the neutral, competent part of it: an accurate value, a clean process, and no surprises for either side.
The legal frame
Equitable distribution, not automatic halves.
New York's Equitable Distribution Law treats marriage as an economic partnership as well as a social one, and asks the court to divide property as fairly as possible. Fairly is not a synonym for equally.
The law separates marital property, meaning property either spouse acquired during the marriage regardless of whose name is on it, from separate property, meaning what a spouse owned before the marriage plus inheritances, gifts from someone other than the spouse, and personal injury payments. Marital property is what gets divided, and the factors a court weighs are set out in Domestic Relations Law section 236(B)(5)(d).
A house bought during the marriage is usually marital property even if only one name is on the deed. A house one spouse owned beforehand can still have a marital component if marital money paid the mortgage or funded a renovation. Those are questions for your attorney, and they change the number we are all working from.
Your options
Three ways this usually ends.
01
Sell and divide the proceeds
The cleanest outcome. The house sells, the mortgage and costs are paid at closing, and the net is divided per your agreement or the court's order. Neither of you stays financially tied to the other.
02
One spouse buys the other out
One keeps the house and pays the other their share, almost always by refinancing. This lives or dies on whether the staying spouse qualifies alone, on one income, at today's rates.
03
Defer the sale
You agree to sell later, often after a child finishes school. It keeps a home stable but keeps you both on the mortgage, so the agreement has to spell out who pays what, who maintains it, and exactly what triggers the sale.
The buyout math
Being off the deed is not being off the loan.
This is the single most expensive misunderstanding we see. A deed transfers ownership. It does nothing to the mortgage. If both names are on the loan and the loan is not refinanced or formally assumed, both people remain liable, and a late payment lands on both credit reports.
So a buyout starts with the lender, not the lawyer: can the staying spouse qualify on their own income for a new loan large enough to pay off the existing balance and fund the other spouse's share? Some loans can be assumed instead, which preserves an older interest rate, but the servicer decides and the standards are strict.
Get that answer before anyone agrees to a buyout in principle. Plenty of settlements have to be reopened because the refinance was assumed to be automatic.
Valuation
Agree on the number the right way.
- For a buyout or a court filing, an appraisal by a licensed appraiser carries the most weight. For deciding whether to sell, a broker price opinion grounded in current comparable sales is usually enough.
- We prepare our opinion from closed sales and active competition, in writing, with the comparables shown. Either side can hand it to their attorney.
- Understand the difference between value and net. Mortgage payoff, transfer taxes, commission, attorney fees, and any repair credits all come out before there is anything to divide.
- Deferred maintenance shows up in the offer price. If the house has been in limbo for a year, budget for that honestly instead of arguing about it later.
How we work
Neutral, and documented.
- Both spouses get the same information at the same time. No side channels, no coaching one party against the other.
- We take direction from both attorneys and follow whatever the agreement or court order says about pricing, showings, and accepting offers.
- Showings and communication get scheduled so nobody is ambushed and, where kids are in the house, so their week stays as normal as we can make it.
- If either of you would rather we not represent both sides, we will say so and refer you out. That is a better outcome than a conflict nobody named.
Please read
We are licensed real estate professionals, not attorneys or accountants. Nothing on this page is legal or tax advice. Your matrimonial attorney and CPA should review any decision about the marital home before you act on it.
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Programs, limits, and legal requirements change. Confirm current terms with the agency or your attorney before you rely on anything here. Sources: NY Courts: What is the Equitable Distribution Law? · NY Domestic Relations Law section 236